Periphescence, In Your Absence


Two posts in a day. Either I’m really productive or I just dont have anything else to do. Ideally, I’d say both. Let’s just say both.

Am I being a drama queen if I said I’m depressed? Yeah maybe a little. Depends on what’s your definition of depression is, I guess. Maybe it’s just PMS. Maybe it’s just one of those days. Maybe.

I’ve been trying to repeat today’s events in my head, trying to find something that can jolt me back into a slight excitement. Or simply to find a reason why I’m feeling icky. Good-Morning kisses, checked. Work, checked. My paycheck, checked. Giggles with colleagues, checked. Welcome-Home kisses, checked. Alone time with my laptop, checked. Dinner, checked. Two dinners actually. So that should do it, right?

Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary today. Nothing awfully bad happened, despite nothing extremely wonderful happened either. And of course I fully acknowledge this particular post is nothing superbly brilliant either. Today just seems….okay. Just okay.

I want a day where it’s not okay. A day that starts with not a cup of mocha, but two. A day of cluttered coffee table and extra yawns. A day which progresses with the urge to dice and slice and boil and spoil. Too feed a reed. A day that I can just sit still, wordless, yet full. Okay, maybe more than just a day.

I guess I just need that something. That extra something. Something to be excited about. To be giddy. To take a breath and not letting out a sigh, but instead exhaling gleeful delight. To breathe sweetness. Scent of poppy flowers. Perfume of be.


Not whining.

Simply writing.

~ by CuppySkully on February 1, 2011.

3 Responses to “Periphescence, In Your Absence”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by devina dewayani, Amelia Chai. Amelia Chai said: …and Chai blogs: Periphescence, In Your Absence: […]

  2. i totally know that feeling. everything is ok. you feel alright. no complaints per se. but you want to feel WONDERFUL. you want to feel something more! i used to travel a lot and the sedentary life sometimes really gets to me. nothing wows me anymore. everything is the same old routine. just humdrum and blah. i’m still happy enough – good friends, family, boyfriend, job, etc etc etc. but i crave excitement, adventure and new experiences! i remember feeling so alive i thought i would burst. i miss that feeling….

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